The only difference between tattooed people and non-tattooed people is tattooed people don’t care that you don’t have tattoos.
I don’t care that you don’t have tattoos
Don’t tease me about your hobbies… I don’t tease you about being an asshole.
Religion is like a penis.
It’s fine that you have one.
It’s fine to be proud of it.
But please don’t whip it out in public and start waving it around.
And please, don’t try to shove it down my children’s throats.
Martinis are like women’s breasts - three is too many, but one is not enough.